Me: What?

The girl: Nippo!

Me: Hippo?

The girl: Nippo (points to a scar on my forearm)

Then I realized – she was calling my scar a nipple. Thanks to her brother for making sure that’s on her first 100 words list.

Using Twitter instead of blogging – I still won’t call myself a Twitter lover, but I have definitely learned to embrace it. And for those who do follow me on Twitter, you probably already know everything I’m going to mention on this list. But you should probably keep reading anyway, for my ego’s sake.

Working – You’d think summer would be a slow time when working at a university, wouldn’t you? I know I would. And in fact, I expect that every summer, even though 5 of the 7 summers I’ve worked there have been pretty crazy. (Isn’t there some saying about that, how the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? Yeah.)

Playing guitar – I haven’t really learned a ton more songs (much to the chagrin of those who live with me and hear me practice), but I’ve been trying hard to work on things like keeping a steady rhythm and making sure notes ring out properly. The good news is that I still really enjoy it. The bad news is that I still pretty much suck.

Playing tennis – For Christmas, my wife signed me up for a tennis class (yes, Christmas. We intentionally deferred until now, because what good is it for me to learn tennis in the winter?). My class finished up last week, and I’ve gotta say, it was more fun than I thought it would be. The teacher was great. The best part was that the class was held at a private club. This particular class is the only one that non-members can sign up for (I am not a member). So after every class, they were pushing free food and drinks on us, in an effort to show us how much better our lives would be with them in it. I’m still not joining, but their recruitment efforts sure were tasty!

Losing weight – I joined a “Weight Watchers at work” program back in April. For years, I’ve had a weight system where I gain in the fall and winter, then lose in the spring and summer. I didn’t love it, but it worked for me. That is, until the past two years, when I kept up the gaining in fall and winter, but didn’t do so much losing in the spring and summer. So by March, I was at an all-time high weight. Since joining WW, I’ve dropped 22 pounds. And there’s still a month and a half left, so I hope I’m not done yet! Of course, the real test of how well the program works will not come until weeks after the Weight Watchers sessions are done, but I can’t say enough good things about it now. I’m at my lowest weight since 2003. I haven’t significantly increased my level of activity, I’ve just learned how to not eat like a pig. Funny how that works.

The next morning…
Boy: Why does a boat float?
Me: A boat, or any object, floats because it’s lighter than the weight of the water it displaces.

Boy: But some boats are heavy.
Me: Yes, but if they’re boats that float, they’re not as heavy as the water they displace.

Boy: What’s “displace” mean?
Me: Um, it sort of means to move something out of the way. If you have a cup of water that’s filled all the way to the top, and you put a rock in the cup, some of the water will spill out of the cup. That water that spills out is the water that was displaced by the rock. And because the rock doesn’t float, that means that the rock is heavier than the water that spilled out. I’ll show you next time you’re in the tub.

Boy: Where does water from the ocean go when it spills out?
Me: … Let’s watch TV.

We celebrated the girl’s first birthday this weekend, and I’m pleased to say that this is the grossest story I can think of for year 1. (I missed posting on her actual birthday, but whatever, she can’t read yet. And by the time she’s old enough to read AND care about what her dad wrote, blogs will have gone the way of the 8-track.)

I’m even more pleased to say that she seems to be out of the floor-licking phase.

To prepare, you’ll want to determine how many holes your sink has, and also decide on what style of faucet you want. Additionally, you’ll want to have some rags ready to soak up any water that drips out even though you’ve taken every reasonable precaution to prevent water from spilling/dripping.

1) Shut off the water supply to the faucet. And then run the faucet to make sure water and pressure have cleared out. (Approximate time to complete: 1 minute)

2) Remove the old faucet. When doing so, be sure to strip the three plastic bolts with which your old faucet is attached. And once they’re completely stripped of any surface that would allow you to grip them with your wrench (or pliers), spend a lot of time going between your sink and your basement (or wherever your tools are stored) trying to think of new things you could fit in the two inches of available space that could help you remove/break the plastic bolts without marring the sink. Note that if you have a Dremel or other high speed rotary tool that could be used, have someone hide it first so that you can’t find it now, when you actually need it. If you’re not the type who typically says curse words, loudly yell a few of them now, assuming no children are nearby. (If you are the type who curses a lot, you’re probably already doing that by now.) Finally settle on boring many small holes in the bolts with a small drill bit, then using the holes to get leverage with needle-nosed pliers. When that doesn’t work as planned, poke the ends of small wire cutters into adjacent holes, and squeeze really hard until the plastic between the holes breaks. Repeat that step until the plastic bolts no longer have enough structural integrity to hold the old faucet in place. Once the bolts are clipped away, gently rock the old faucet to break the seal of plumber’s putty that was hopefully there keeping a waterproof seal around the base. Scrape away any remaining putty on the sink, being careful to not scratch the sink’s surface. (Approximate time to complete: 195 minutes)

3) Put in the new faucet, as per the instructions provided with it. (Approximate time to complete: 10 minutes)

4) Turn the water back on, run the faucet. Immediately check for leaks, tighten any connections if necessary. (Approximate time to complete: 1-5 minutes)

Congratulations, you’re done!

It occurs to me that I haven’t really blogged much about her. Part of that was on purpose, but mostly, it’s because there hadn’t been much to say. In fact, let me break it down for you right now: Months 1-4, she cried. Months 5-7, she smiled and laughed for her brother, while she quietly tolerated everyone else. If she had signed up for a T-Mobile account and had to pick her fave 5, I don’t think I would have made the cut. And she only really knew seven people. I’m not small like her brother, I don’t have lactating breasts, like her mother. It was hard to compete.

When she was 7 months old, she started turning the corner. At 8 months old, I dare say she was downright charming. And now at 9 months old, she has successfully completed wrapping me around her finger. (She looked so cute crawling around last night, I almost gave her the car keys without her even asking.)

Anyway, that pretty much brings you up to speed. All that background info doesn’t really have to do with why I wanted to post about the girl, I just wanted to give background info for the sake of giving background info.

The point of this post is supposed to be about the girl’s hair. I can say with complete subjectivity that she’s the cutest baby to ever exist ever. Part of her physical charm is her hair. It’s always one of the first things people say about her when they meet her or see pictures of her, because it’s quite long for her age. Or to put it another way, she’s got a huge rat’s nest on her head and it will undoubtedly be the source of lots of crying and fighting in the future when it needs to be combed. Or to put it yet another way, her hair is BANANAS. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Because I know that not everyone who reads this blog has seen her before, here’s a photo of her from when she was 7 months old. And before any of you funny guys make some Cousin Itt jokes, I’ll add that she’s facing the other way. Her hair’s not that long:

I’m a guy. My first kid is a boy. I don’t have any sisters. My own hair varies between 1/16″ and 1/8″ in length. I know nothing about how to maintain girls’ hair. Obviously, the wife will be taking the point on any girl hair issues, but what about those times when the wife isn’t home? I am to hair care as oil is to water, as Tom Cruise is to sanity. Thinking about it makes me hyperventilate. She’s too young to care about how her hair looks now, but it won’t always be that way. I’m in her Fave 5 now, I don’t want something like hair care to get me demoted! I’m almost as anxious about this as I am about having to shop in the “pink aisle” of the toy store.

Almost.

In fairness to him, I’m the one who taught him the Guyanese anthem. The wife (primarily) taught him the American and Canadian anthems. So if we’re looking to assign blame here, we should probably blame the teacher, not the student.

Or better yet, we can blame my parents. Yeah, I like that.

Enjoy!

–
* I just realized that I also promised “Take me out to the ballgame,” but we stalled on that. Maybe by next baseball season.

Taking Christmas card photos – I took over a hundred photos in an effort to get THREE good ones for a photo card. And you might think it’s the 7-month old who was having trouble cooperating, but you’d be wrong. The whole time I was snapping away, I was thinking about how if we still lived in the film era, I would have tried like 3 pictures, then resorted to sending out non-photo greeting cards if none of the 3 came out. Times were so much simpler back then…

Having the internet everywhere – I was dangerously close to publishing a blog post from the grocery store over the weekend. The reason? Because I can. In the end, I resisted the urge. But I did create the new post category of “on location,” and I do reserve the right to use it.

Site housekeeping – I have (finally) decided to bring over a bunch of my old posts from my old site to this one. I have really been wanting to re-use the old domain name for something else, but I haven’t wanted to delete the old posts. Those who have only been following me in the past year or so, you guys missed out. 2005 to early 2007 Omar was hilarious. Anyway, I bring this up because you may see a ton of really old things appear in my site feed (if you use my site feed). Sorry about that.

Great! But before we get to this year’s effort, let’s take a peek back at the last three years:

2005, the metrosexual vampire jack-o-lantern. He’ll scare you by showing you his credit card statement after all the shopping he’s been doing! Boo!  Mani-pedis all around!

2006, the pirate skeleton and spider that looks suspiciously like a tick. The pirate skeleton may be my best effort to date.

2007, the ghost with a giggle so annoyingly cheerful, it’ll make you sick to your stomach in such a way that it will be indistinguishable from that feeling you get in your stomach right at the moment you’re being scared.

And finally… drumroll please… the Suburban Juggernaut jack-o-lantern for the twenty oh ate:

Happy Halloween, all. Be good to the kids, give out good candy. Don’t give out those nasty caramel cream things, unless the kid isn’t wearing a costume.