The Boy turned 4 years old over the weekend. This is true. Also true are four of the following five stories. One of them, however, is a lie. A good lie, if there is such a thing. Your job is to find that lie. Sniff it out like a bloodhound. Pick it like a nose. Find it like it’s name is Waldo. And so on.
1) We had a brunch party for the boy, because he said he wanted to eat breakfast food. I was thrilled, not just because I like breakfast food also, but because it gave me the opportunity to make waffles. When the guests came, I proceeded to pressure all of them to have a waffle. Have I said lately that I love making waffles?
2) I considered buying myself a present for the occasion: a vasectomy.
3) As I was shopping for birthday presents for the boy, I found more items to add to my own Christmas list than I found for him. Did I mention that I was shopping in Toys R Us? Because I was. I’m not proud.
4) Out of nowhere, the boy told me that he wanted an iPhone for his birthday. He’s only ever seen one at the local Apple store, though he does like my iPod touch, and he always calls it an iPhone. I don’t correct him, because I also like to sometimes pretend like it’s an iPhone. And though I never really gave it serious thought, I did consider checking eBay for a used iPod touch.
5) The boy got a golf bag and a few more clubs as a present from his grandparents. The happiest part of my day was watching him put the bag over his shoulder (even though he only did it because we were making him do it). And if my excitement wasn’t enough, I think my dad almost shed a tear. That’s how much we love our golf.
November 11th, 2008
You guys and your golf.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, THE BOY!
i’m thinking we need to see a picture of the waffles. mmm, i could so totally go for a waffle right now.
November 11th, 2008
sorry, i forgot about the lie-scoping, i was so excited about the waffles. i’m going to go with #4. the boy knows the words to more than one national anthem (which is more than i can say about professional singers who get up in front of millions of people). he’s not going to be calling something the wrong thing.
November 11th, 2008
I’m thinking five is the whopper.
November 11th, 2008
hb to the boy!! did he get the unicorn i mailed?
as for the lie, it is totally the VASECTOMY. i can’t imagine that you would deprive the world of more mini-omars. how could you sleep at night?
November 12th, 2008
#2 has to be the lie. While a kid’s bd party CAN make you seriously reevaluate the benefits of procreation, no man EVER thinks the answer is the v word.
November 12th, 2008
Wow, this is tough. One of these is a lie, huh? Hmm…I’m going to go with…uh…”B”–and that’s my final answer!
November 12th, 2008
(I have no idea which one is the lie. They’re probably ALL lies, aren’t they?)
November 12th, 2008
I am going with #3! What could you possibly want in Toys R Us?
November 12th, 2008
Im going with #1: You love making one or two waffles (maybe), but enough for the whole party - I don’t think so.
November 12th, 2008
okay i want to say 2 is the lie, but you usually hide lies.
but maybe this time you put it out in the open so that you’re double fooling us.
otherwise, your tricky self maybe DID check ebay for a used touch. and so that’s your lie.
November 12th, 2008
I think it is number two.
But I also think it could be number 4 because I don’t think he would mess up the name either.
Gah…I am going with 4!
November 12th, 2008
ok, here’s my thinking:
1) truth - waffles rule. more waffles for everyone.
2) truth? - you already have two kids, a complete set (gender-wise), and you might be thinking that you have done your part. you also were hosting a child’s party at the ungodly hour of “brunch”, when normal (non-parental) people are still in bed on the weekends, which has to be worse than having your vas deferens snipped. or not, i don’t know, i don’t have a vas deferens.
3) truth - if we have learned one thing over the years, it is that omar loves the toys.
4) truth - he’s a smart kid, and he wants to be just like his daddy.
5) truth? - see #4 - though I am confused by the term “a few more clubs,” because he’s just a kid, which would mean that he needs smaller clubs, which would mean that he either uses kiddie clubs, which come in full sets rather than a la carte, or custom clubs, which would be expensive and pretty much a waste because he will outgrow them so fast. and what kid needs more than a putter, anyway? it’s not like he’s gonna have any use for a pitching wedge or a set of woods… he’s probably more interested in the sand traps than he is in the game itself.
so i don’t know. either 2 or 5.
i’ll say 5.
November 12th, 2008
#1 is the lie. And if it isn’t, it should be. Who is ambitious enough to throw a BRUNCH party for a 4 year old? If y’all are, I may have to stop reading this blog because that level of overachieving is more than I can be in the same world wide web with.
Although, I have no problem ending sentences with a preposition, so obviously my priorities are WAY off.
I also am very skeptical of anyone under 21 who prefers breakfast foods. A love of breakfast food comes with a need for relief from a hangover.
Oh, I just made that up. My own little version of “1 lie in a comment in the 4 truths and a lie post on suburban juggernaut”. But it’s pretty good. If I say so myself.
November 12th, 2008
Oops, I left the wrong info in AGAIN.
November 12th, 2008
Okay, so I’m basing my opinion on this post alone, cause I haven’t read enough Omar to know any past history that may influence my opinion…
it’s 2, or 5, or 3… or 1, or ummmm 4. I’m totally no good at this game. Okay… wait. I’m going to get analytical… why would a party where you got to make waffles make you consider a vasectomy.. because waffles make you happy.. you love breakfast food, remember, so 1 and 2 contradict themselves. You loved the waffle making party, but decided that no party was worth another baby so your sealing yourself off for good? Hmmm.
I think it’s 2.. if not 2, then 1. or 3. or 5. or 4.
November 12th, 2008
I’m going with 2. You know you love those kids . . .
November 12th, 2008
I’m going with #2 because a vasectomy isn’t something a man considers. It’s something that is suggested to him.
November 12th, 2008
I say 2 is the lie because who thinks about that when making waffles? No one that’s who.
Happy Bday to the boy!
Fascinating Mexi fact: Niños is boy in Español.
November 13th, 2008
Goodness but you are a good liar Omar. I’m having a hard time deciding, but I think I’m going to pick #5 because you said “a few more clubs” and how many clubs does a 4 year old need?
November 13th, 2008
Unless you have one of those giant I can make 6 waffles at a time that I have only ever seen at camp, or overly productive Mormon’s houses…I’m saying 1 is the lie.
But then again, it could be 2 because it could be that your wife was the one inspired by thoughts of vasectomy…that’s par for course.
Actually the only one I’m sure is truth is 3…because I have a husband. Enough said.
November 13th, 2008
Happy birthday to The Boy!
November 13th, 2008
Well, Sei had a vasectomy because he’s manly like that… Could Omnar 3000 handle a V?? Have you been tased?
Happy Birthday to The Boy!!
November 14th, 2008
I’m saddened that so many of you are fine with believing that I pretend that my iPod touch is an iPhone.
Congrats to Cadiz and Lauren! Mommyj, you can claim victory here too, just because I thought it was funny that you guessed every answer and the correct one was last on your list.
November 14th, 2008
thanks!
i hope you’re enjoying your iPhone as much as H thinks he’s going to enjoy his—when he finally is able to break free from his contract to get it.
and i hope you feel better.
November 14th, 2008
I got to this late because our computer is down…
I was going to say #1 because I know you would never pressure anyone to eat waffles after the way you were pressured to watch Napoleon Dynamite…
However, it looks like I was wrong…
November 17th, 2008
All of you who think that number 2 is the lie obviously are not male. You can love children and still seriously entertain the thought of getting a vasectomy.
I thought #5 might be the lie, but since Tiger Woods has come along, I’m willing to go with it.
I’m going with #3, because there just isn’t that much stuff for grownups at Toys-R-Us.
November 17th, 2008
Well, I picked number 2 as the lie…FAIL!
November 17th, 2008
They all sounded pretty much true to me!
You’re a great liar.
November 17th, 2008
Happy birthday, The Boy!
November 18th, 2008
I agonized over this for literally seconds… then I went with #4!
How’d I do?
I already know the answer to that. I can’t imagine a world where you would trick yourself into thinking a piece of gadgetry was something other than what it really was. If I’m lucky enough to one day have an iPhone, (and just for the record, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted any gadget so much) I will never pretend that it’s just an iPod touch… unless someone is trying to steal it from. Then I will pretend that is nothing more than a pez dispenser. And this is the reason I will be palming several pieces of pez candy at all times once I obtain an iPhone.
November 19th, 2008
#4 is a lie. and hopefully when you’re making waffles you’re using my awesome, superb waffle recipe. stiff egg whites.
December 1st, 2008
I am WAY late (how did I miss this post?) but I thought it was 2 … then 3 … and then 4. What exactly is on your wish list from Toys R Us?